


Tree Bark Burn

by BenSoloHands



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bears, F/M, Guns, This is crack, Tree Sex, a little smut, being in the woods, i never post serious stories, something is wrong with me so don’t judge lol, taking a shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:20:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenSoloHands/pseuds/BenSoloHands
Summary: Ben and Hux go camping. Rey is a park ranger. A lot of stupid shit happens.Twitter: @bensolohands
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Tree Bark Burn

“I can’t believe you talked me into this shit.” Hux grumbled as he got out of Ben’s car and grabbed his camping gear. “Don’t be such a pussy Hux, it's been very stressful at the office the past few weeks so I figured a camping trip could help us unwind.” Ben replied. “Since when does your pampered ass ever go camping? Hell all you think about is where the nearest Starbucks and day spa is located!” Hux bitched as he threw his back pack over his shoulder. “Look I was talking to my dad about all the stress we have been under and this is what he suggested so let's do this and stop being a giant cunt about it!” Ben said as he stormed off ahead of Hux to the edge of the woods entrance. 

  
  


“Do you have the fucking compass? Cause you no there is no cell phone service out here in case we get lost.” Hux said as they got deeper into the woods. “Yes I put it in your bag, I’m carrying all the damn food!” Ben replied. Ben was starting to wonder why the hell he brought this little bitch along with him instead of his dad. At least his dad would enjoy something like this. Ben had not been camping in the mountains of Montana since he was a kid but damn it he was going to make this work. He was sick of the city life to be honest. 

  
  


After about an hour of hiking they came to a clearing near a river and decided to set up camp. “I will start on a fire, why don’t you start getting the tent set up.” Ben yelled over to Hux. “ Fucking hell, like my ass knows how to sent up a tent.” Hux mumbled as he tried to pull the tent out of the bag. “Damn it why are there so many zippers on this thing?!” Hux yelled. Ben turned around and rolled his eyes. “That’s the sleeping bags you fucking idiot!” Ben said as he grabbed them from Hux. “Just unpack all the food and the rest of the shit. I will handle this.” Couple of hours later Ben had the tent set up and a fire going while Hux went to find a place to take a shit.

“Hurry up Hux! The hot dogs are almost ready!” Ben yelled into the bushes. “For God’s sake can’t a man take a shit in peace!? Also fuck your shitty hot dogs! Why couldn’t you have gotten some ready made meals from Maz’s premium steakhouse before we left!?” Hux sighed as he looked for something to wipe his ass with. “God damn it, what did i do with the fucking toilet paper!” He looked around, the toilet paper had disappeared. “ For fucks sake! I can’t stay out here for 2 days with fucking Daniel Boone over here with an asshole covered in shit, Fuck it I’m just going to use these damn leaves.” Hux pulled the 3 leafed plant from the ground and got his ass clean. It was then that he heard a rustling in the bushes. He looked up to see a bear cub playing with his toilet paper roll. “Oh fuck, ok little guy give me that! I need something to wipe my glorious ass with while I’m in this God forsaken place!” Hux walked over to the bear cub and swatted at him. 

  
  


The cub growled and ran back into the bush. “ Fucking wild life!” He mumbled. “GRRRRRR ARRRRR!” Hux shot up and saw what appeared to be a mama bear from hell. “FUCK ME!!!” Hux screamed as he dropped the toilet paper and climbed the nearest tree as fast as he could. “ BEN! HELP ME! THERE’S A BIG MOTHERFUCKING BEAR TRYING TO EAT MY ASS!” Ben looked up when he heard Hux’s screams, grabbed Han’s gun that he gave him and ran to save his dumb ass co worker. 

  
  


Hux looked around for an escape route. He saw his chance, jumped from the tree and ran like hell. Suddenly he heard Ben screaming and a gunshot. “FUCK! What in hell am I going to do now!? The motherfucker is eating Ben!” He looked in his pockets, he had his cell but no service but thank god he had the compass. “Fuck I hope there’s a rangers station near the road!” Hux followed the compass west until he saw the station in the distance. 

  
  


As Ben ran towards the screaming and growling sounds he started to ponder on his life. “I’m going to end up dead in the woods with Hux and I have wasted my life. I really should have at least gotten married and had a couple of kids.” Ben saw a large bear in the distance but no sign of Hux. “ Fucking great he’s already been eaten, now I’m going to have to speak at that peice of shits funeral.” Ben shot the gun into the air but the bear seemed to ignore it. It ran its claws through Ben’s shirt and tore it clean off and knocking the gun out of his hand. “FUCK!” Ben screamed as he wrestled the bear trying to get hold of the gun. Just as Ben’s chest was getting nice and sweaty he grabbed the gun and shot at the bear. He missed but this time the bear took the hint and ran off. 

  
  


“HUX! HUX WHERE ARE YOU!?” Ben yelled. Ben looked around and saw no traces of blood, only a lone roll of toilet paper and shitty poison ivy leaves. “Fucking Hux.” He thought. When it became clear to Ben that Hux had just gotten spooked and ran off he decided to head back to camp and wait for him. Especially since Hux had the fucking compass and Ben had no cell service. “Well at least I will get some peace for awhile.” He thought. He finished his dinner and laid down looking up as the first set of stars started to shine. 

  
  
  


“Do you hear that?” Poe said as he looked up from the porn he had pulled up on his work computer. Rey turned around from the coffee station and looked at Poe, “I don’t hear shit.” Rey replied. Poe got up and looked out the window to see a wild ginger running towards the station. “There’s some crazy looking fucker running around outside screaming about a bear and a dead guy.” He said. Rey and Poe grabbed their guns just as Hux ran in the door. “HELP ME! MY BASTARD CO WORKER IS BEING EATEN BY A 23 FOOT BEAR!” He yelled clutching his chest. 

  
  


“You must not think to much of him if your calling him a damn bastard, you sure you didn’t murder him instead?” Rey asked. Hux looked at her as if she was the village idiot. “No you peasant! Now do your fucking job and save that fucker! He’s the one that signs my paycheck every week so I can’t afford to lose him!” Poe and Rey looked at him in disbelief. “So where exactly is your camp located?” Asked Poe. “I don’t know fuckface! It’s east of here is all I know!” Hux bitched. Rey tased Hux and he fell to the ground. “I will go check it out, you throw this crazy ginger into the cell incase he really did murder the other guy.” Rey told Poe as she grabbed her gear. 

  
  


“Ok Rey, take my truck, it has a full tank of gas.” Poe said as he tossed her his keys. Rey stopped at her truck first to get some extra bullets. “I have about a half a tank of gas, I will just take mine. It can’t be that far.” She tossed Poe’s keys in his truck then climbed into hers. 

  
  


As Rey headed east she started to ponder her life, sitting at home alone every night eating hungry man dinners was not where she thought she would be.“I should at least be married by now with one or two kids instead of sitting in a building with Poe all day listening to his gay porn.” She thought. At least Poe had Finn to go home to. Rey spotted smoke from a fire in the distance and pulled over. It was getting dark so she needed to make this shit quick.

  
  


She got out of her truck and pulled out her assault rifle. As she got closer to the campsite he eyes spotted what looked like a fucking lumberjack Greek god laying shirtless on a sleeping bag near the fire fast asleep. “Oh fuck me…..” Rey said aloud. She walked up and stood next to him looking down. God this big bitch was gorgeous. That ebony black hair, long thick fingers, feet as big as a fucking house and a nose that could hit all the right fucking places. Rey sat down next to the beast and poked him with her finger. “Um hello, sir…. wake up.”

  
  


Ben was dreaming, or so he thought, about a beautiful angel with long brown waves, hazel eyes, perfect tits and for some reason wearing a fucking forest rangers uniform. He opened his eyes and saw her in the flesh. “Oh hello sir, my name is Rey, I was sent by a raving ginger to rescue you but clearly you don’t need it.” She said. Ben sat up looking around. It was almost dark, fuck how long had he slept. “Um, hi I’m Ben.” He said as he shook her hand. As soon as their fingers met he was hit with a wave of ecstasy. Holy fuck where had she been all his life? 

  
  


Rey looked into his whisky colored eyes and she was a goner. Where had this giant refrigerator man been all her life. He let go of her hand and she wanted to die from the loss. “Um I guess I better get going if I want to make it back before nightfall since you clearly don’t need rescuing.” Rey smiled as she stood up. “Will you be ok out here alone? I tased your insane ginger friend so he will be out for a while back at the station.” She said. Ben did not want to let this woman leave. He had to spend more time with her. “Um well the bear attack did kind of spook me. I don’t know if i feel safe being out here alone.” Ben said as he gave her puppy dog eyes. 

  
  


“Well you can come back to the station with me if you like and gather the rest of your things in the morning. “ she said as she batted her eyelashes. Ben didn’t need to be told twice, he grabbed his shirt and boots and followed Rey over to her truck. Rey climbed in and tried to crank the engine….nothing. “Oh fuck.” She looked at the gas gauge…. completely empty. “I guess I should have taken Poe’s truck.” She thought. 

“Problems?” Ben said as she climbed out of the truck. “Out of gas and of course I left my fucking radio back at the station.” Rey said as they walked back over to the camp. “Well I do have plenty of food and water. We could stay here for the night and surely they will come looking for us by morning.” Ben said with a smirk. Rey was so happy she could burst. She was going to be stuck in the woods overnight with the beautiful man. “Yes, Poe should be out here by then looking for us.” Rey said as she sat down next to the fire and took her boots off. 

  
  


They talked for hours about nothing and everything. Rey told Ben about her lonely hungry man dinner filled nights and Ben told Rey about his horrible days of being stuck in the office with Hux and no one to go home too at night. Ben finally grew his balls and leaned in closer to Rey, “You're not alone.” He said. “Neither are you.” Rey replied as she closed the gap between them kissing him with the fire of a thousand suns. Ben tore at Rey’s shitty second hand uniform while Rey ripped his flannel shirt to shreds. His lips felt like pink plump clouds on her tits as he sucked in her nipples. Rey's moans were upsetting the wild life so they made their way into the tent. Rey slowly pulled Ben’s pants down to reveal the prettiest cock she had ever seen. “God Ben you're so big and beautiful.” Rey whispered as she took him into her mouth. Ben moaned loudly and grabbed Rey’s head as she bobbed up and down. 

  
  


Rey was so soaked she was afraid she would cause a fucking flood. “Rey I want to be inside you when I cum.” Ben breathed. Rey kissed his pretty cockhead and pulled off her pants. “Oh fuck Rey I don’t have any condoms, unless you carry some in that ranger truck of yours.” Ben said with a worried look on his face. “Of course not Ben! I’m not the forest whore! I don’t keep condoms on standby so I can fuck every camper I meet.” Rey replied looking a little pissed. “No No I didn’t mean it like that!” Ben said in a panic. Rey smiled,”I’m kidding Ben, I have an IUD and I’m clean and long as you are.” “I’m clean too.” Ben smiled and began to kiss her again. 

  
  


Suddenly they heard rumbling outside the tent door. Rey grabbed her mace and looked outside. “I don’t see anything, let me check it out.” Rey crawled outside and Ben followed her. They just about gave up when the damn bear from earlier roared at them from the other side of the fire. “REY WHERES THE GUN!” Ben screamed as they ran for the nearest tree. “Its in the fucking tent!” She said as they climbed up the tree and sat together on the branch. They looked down and saw the bear was eating the rest of their fucking hot dogs. 

After a while of sitting in the tree Rey was still wet as hell and ready to go. This fucking bear reminded her of Luke, the damn cockblocking landlord of hers that liked to knock on her door whenever her and her ex would just be touching fucking hands. Ben looked over at Rey and she saw the nice big tent he was still pitching in his pants. “You know Rey, we could still make this work from up here.” He said giving her a smoldering stare. Ben stood on the branch and held onto the other branch above him. He motioned for Rey to do the same. She stood up and ripped off her pants while Ben pulled his giant cock out. “Hold on baby, I’m going to fuck you until we chop this fucking tree down!” Ben moaned as he slid into Rey’s quivering mound. 

  
  


Rey had never felt so full in her life. This big motherfucker was going to split her into before this was over. “God Ben your so fucking wide! You're going to ruin my pussy for other men!” “I’m going to be your only man from now on sweetheart!” Ben moaned in her ear while he slammed into her so hard the tree began to sway. 

  
  


Meanwhile back at the station Poe was worried about Rey being gone for hours. “I can’t leave this ginger fuck here by himself.” He thought. Poe grabbed some cuffs and made his way to Hux’s cell. “Wake up bitch!” Poe yelled as he shoved Hux off the cot. Hux woke up in a fuming rage. “ Fuck you asshole! I could have your job in a matter of seconds! Especially since your keeping me locked up for no fucking reason!” Hux yelled. “Move your ass, Rey never came back and we need to go find her! I’m not leaving your insane ass here alone!” Poe pulled Hux to his feet and cuffed him. “Wait a minute, I need to piss first and also do you have any kind of anti-itch cream for the anus area?? I don’t know why but it’s been itching something fierce for the past few hours.” Hux replied. Poe ignored him. They made their way to the truck, climbed in and headed east. 

  
  


“What the fuck is going on with that tree over there?” Poe said as they pulled up next to Rey’s abandoned truck. “Look I’m going to uncuff you long enough to find out what’s going on here so don’t try anything funny fuckwad.” Poe said as he let Hux out of the cuffs. “Good cause when that bear comes back I’m going to shove you at him so he won't eat me!” Hux replied as they made their way towards the swaying tree. 

  
  


As they approached the tree Poe wanted to pull his eyes out of his head when he got an eye full of a giant mans ass fucking what appeared to be Rey 10 feet in the air as pine needles rained down on him and Hux. “Oh fuck me big daddy! Just like that yes baby! I want you to give me fucking tree bark burn!” Rey yelled and moaned. “Damn right baby you won't be able to walk for the next month when I’m done with this tight pussy!” 

  
  


“SOLO WHAT THE FUCK!” Hux yelled. Ben looked down and saw the look of hate in Hux’s eyes. Oh that bastard was going to get it for running off and leaving him to wrestle a bear. “Hey Hux, you're just in time!” Ben huffed as he pulled out of Rey and let his cum rain straight down on Hux’s orange ass head. 

  
  


“FUCK! OH MY GOD! SOLO YOU GIANT CUNT!” Hux screamed and he ran over to the creek next to the camp to throw water on his head. “Um hey Rey I will give you guys a minute.” Poe walked back to his truck looking green. “God baby that was so good.” Rey breathed as she came down from her high. “I’m never letting you go Rey. Please come back home with me tomorrow.” Ben pleaded. “Actually, why don’t you stay with me Ben. You don’t need that stressful city life you told me about.” “I will go wherever you are Rey.” Ben replied. She beamed at him and they made their way down the tree. “I didn’t even noticed that fucking bear left.” Ben said. “Too busy fucking in the tree.” Rey smiled and gathered her clothes. 

  
  


Rey and Ben decided to pack up and drive back with Poe and Hux to avoid anymore bear encounters. Ben could feel the hate radiating off of Hux. “What if that solo spooge had stained my beautiful hair! You are paying my hair dresser bill when we get back!” Hux fumed. “I’m not going back, I’m stayed with Rey, fuck you and that job.” Ben replied as he shoved his tongue down Rey’s throat. 

  
  


5 Years later

“Rey! The hot dogs are ready!” Ben yelled over at the tent where Rey and their twins were making up the sleeping bags. She crawled out with the kids following her. Ben handed her and the kids their plates and sat down by the fire. “I love coming here every year. Seeing as how this is where we met.” Rey said taking the hot dog in her mouth in a seductive way looking at Ben. “Yeah baby, we will have to visit the tree later this evening. “ Ben winked at her. “What are you talking about daddy??” The kids asked. “Nothing, me and mommy just love trees.” Ben replied. 

After the kids went to bed Ben took Rey's hand and walked to the sex tree. “I want to show you something.” Ben said as he pointed to the tree. Rey looked and saw Ben Loves Rey carved into the trunk. “Awwwww Ben you're so sweet!” She said as she moved to kiss him. “Ok enough of this sweet stuff lets see if we can break this fucking tree this year!” Rey said jumping into his arms. “Let’s do it.” Ben agreed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
